Not Art

I am not art. I am messy and don't give a shit. I hook up with boys and hang out with my friends too much and sleep too little. I appreciate bright lights and late nights. I only post the best picture in my camera roll and I am not art. I am anti-feminist and I kiss my boyfriend too hard and too much. I believe shit happens so we should eat meat and drive too fast and worry about ourselves. I am not art because I do not care enough to be art. I am an unsatisfied hot mess that you will find sleeping in your bed the next morning. I am so empty and yet so full. I take shitty pictures and hate my job and I am not art because I can't be. I will not grow up and hang in a frame in a museum. I will only be able to set the streets on fire and smash every framed-up Mona Lisa pinned against a wall because I cannot be them. I can't paint or sing or dance. I have shitty music taste because I love trap music played too loudly and the windows open with the breeze in my hair. I am rough around the edges and unnervingly soft in the middle. I am not art. My heart is weary and filled with every sin known to mankind and it will destroy you. Art is meant to make you feel something powerfully wonderful but I will kill you from the inside out and I am not art.

love

Love. 

A simple four letter word that is so easily overused, quickly overplayed, carelessly discarded, recklessly shared, and thoughtlessly screamed, that is has lost its most basic meaning. 

So I'll tell you this in the most brutally straightforward manner that I can manage... We, as a generation, have forgotten the difference between liking someone, loving someone, being in love with someone, and being in love with the idea of love. 

While 'love' is one of the trickiest words to define, 'like' is not. If you like someone, I think it really means that you like who they are, what they do, how they treat you, and how they make you feel. Liking someone is wanting to do things with a certain person, just because you know that it would be more fun if they were there with you. Being in like does not have to be mutual, and most of the time it isn't. This is one of the most common and basic forms of what most people today would consider to be "love". 

Lusting after someone is having a desire to have them or be with them. I believe that love is taking that one step further. Love is wanting someone and wanting everything they are, but only with the condition that they want you back. Love is giving someone the power to hurt you, and trusting that they won't. Loving someone is wanting someone in their most vulnerable state and hoping that they want you in the same way, just as much. Loving someone can easily be confused with being in love with someone. 

I believe that being in love with someone is more in depth, more overpowering, and more consuming than just loving someone. Being in love means that you would go to the ends of the earth for someone. Being in love is loving someone unconditionally, meaning that you would love them regardless if they loved you back. Being totally, head over heels in love with someone means that you love them in every possible state, shape, or form that they could be in. Being in love with someone means that their happiness is your happiness... that their sadness is your sadness. While these things could easily be applied to liking or loving someone, you should understand the difference, which is: these feelings will be so intense, so obvious, and so prominent, that when you really are in love, you will know because you've never felt this way with anyone else you thought you were in love with. Being in love is one of the scariest and most amazing experiences a person could ever have in their entire life. In fact, most people don't even get to experience it. But that's the mystery of it, isn't it? Whether or not you'll ever find a true love in your life is the most terrifying yet exciting thing you have to look forward to. 

And finally, I will give you a clear explanation of the true explanation. While most people will ridiculously jump at any chance they get to say that they are in love, there may just be some method to their madness. When someone claims to be in love, we should be very skeptical about what they are in love with. Are they really in love with that other person... or are they in love with the idea of love? In our society, we idolize power couples like Kimye and Jae, putting emphasis on the social importance of being in a relationship and loving someone else. The media strives to portray the perfect couple that is totally in love, (when behind closed doors it's all just a publicity stunt). We begin to believe that showing others and telling others that we are in love with someone, is crucial if you want to be popular and successful. We need to understand that love is just a concept, a theory, a shout into the void. It means something different to every individual. Love isn't always what it's cracked up to be. Really, some of us are just misguided creatures, in love with the idea of love.

- Danielle Kuzel (2014)

this is terrible

I used to be quite good with words until someone like you came along and asked me about myself. It's been months and months and months since you asked me and I still don't have an answer. Right now, I think I can give you something coherent. Here is my feeble attempt:

I am Danielle Louise Kuzel. My favorite thing in the world is the sound of a pen scribbling on a sheet of paper and the rustling of pages. I like these sounds at all times of the day. I also appreciate honesty and reality in the most pure, cruel form. I cry when I listen to the soundtracks of my favorite movies. When something good happens, I like to close my eyes and savor the moment (I might do this a lot when I'm with you.) I am allergic to penicillin and bug bites. I do not like spiders or cockroaches or insects in general. I believe in everything. I believe there is an infinite amount of universes so I think everything must be possible in at least one of them. I believe in God. I love the feeling when you know He's there and giving you a big hug. I hate the crust on sandwiches. I am repulsed by the smell of vinegar. I love the smell of sweet ocean air and the way the wind feels on my face. I like reading; my favorite time to read is late at night. My favorite time of the day is night time. I love going downtown because it is big and unknown and scary. I like writing. Writing makes me comfortable. I hate when I write, though. I feel like I'm not good enough most of the time. I like doing random acts of kindness. My favorite thing is to hold open the door for someone else. I also like to offer other people my place because I always try to put others before myself. Sometimes I act selfishly. I try not to, but it happens. I believe human nature is inevitable but it is something to never mess with. I hate scary movies. I get scared really easily and can't sleep most nights because of it. I love you. But I hate this story. So I will delete it and you will never see it. I'm sorry. 

Fairytale or Nah?

Imagine being in a fairytale for 24 hours. Would you imagine a day filled with dragons and gallant knights in shining armor? Would you picture a day filled with the impossible? And end it with an irresistible sunset and a kiss that makes sparks fly?

Or would you find the loop hole…?

Because after all, every fairytale has to have a happy ending, right? So what if yours didn’t? Wouldn’t you be forced to stay inside your dream until everything worked out? But would you go through with it, even if you had figured that out..?

The question is: Would you rather have 24 hours of sheer perfection or go through a thousand difficult days just to stay in the fantasy? Which would you choose?

Traveling Series Update

While I would really love to continue my international visitations in each of my new posts, I feel that I have so much more to offer and would really like to share some other things I've written recently. Remember - feedback is important!! If you want more of those posts, please email me or comment! Thank you so much for your understanding. Keep sharing my page, please!

- Danielle Kuzel
(daniellekuzel@yahoo.com)

Part IV - Sarasota, Florida

Sarasota, Florida

          My current location, Sarasota, Florida, is absolutely stunning. With a rich history and gorgeous attractions, my city is simply flawless. I can proudly say that I live where you vacation.

            Sarasota is located in The Sunshine State, Florida. It’s in the southern region, north of Fort Myers and around the Tampa Bay area. The motto of my town is, “Where urban amenities meet small-town living.” It holds the nickname of ‘Paradise’ and its’ population is near 52,578 people.

            A significant tourist attraction is what our city is renowned for, Siesta Key Beach. Siesta Key is ranked as America’s #1 beach and I have the privilege of living only a few miles from it! Its’ luscious sand is often compared to powdered sugar. Many events occur here, such as the Siesta Key Drum Circle on Sunday nights and other recreational tournaments. Beach volleyball usually takes place here. Siesta Key is also a fabulous destination for a wedding or celebratory event. All of the beauty cannot be expressed within numbered words, so you’ll have to come and see for yourself!

            In 1513, the area was first explored by Europeans. A landmark that they left (and is frequently visited) is Spanish Point! Historic Spanish Point consists of many different buildings that give an accurate and overall representation of how things were back in the earliest of Florida history. There are cottages and forts and even a botanical garden. It’s a glorious place to visit and I highly recommend it if you’re ever in the SRQ area.

            Sarasota, in general, is famous for the beaches and tourism. There is a plethora of luxurious beach outlets along Midnight Path and Ocean Boulevard near the Siesta Key area. The weather always provides the perfect conditions for enjoying our lovely city.

The seaside shops are enough to get anyone excited and heading for the ATM machine. St. Armand’s Circle and Marina Jacks are two great places to go if you’re looking for a cute pair of starfish earrings or a new skimboard.

            The epitome of a perfect Sarasota resident is tan, thin, and blonde. The people in Sarasota are upscale yet down to Earth, if you meet the right person. Sarasota inhabitants are truly blessed to live in such a phenomenal place.

            I chose Sarasota because I wanted to express my knowledge of my beloved city and write about my deep appreciation for this ‘Paradise.’

            A couple things I’ve learned are:

1)      Sarasota is beautiful.

2)      The beaches are maginificent.

3)      I love my city! J

Part III - Missoula, Montana

Missoula, Montana

          Missoula, Montana is home to some of my favorite people. It is an absolutely fantastic city and is filled with great recreational events. I couldn’t have picked a better place!

            The city of Missoula is located in Missoula County, Montana. Montana is a state bordered by Canada and Wyoming. Missoula itself is located near the confluence of Bitterroot River and Clark Fork River. It is in the midst of five large mountains and is often known as the, “Hub of Five Valleys”. According to the 2010 Census, their population is around 66,788 people. It has grown to about 68, 394 people since July 1^st, 2012. Since 2000, Missoula is the second most populated city in Montana.

            A historic tourist hotspot is the Wilma Theatre. The theatre was built as a dedication to William “Billy” Simons’ wife, Edna Wilma, who was an opera singer. The theatre is 8 stories high and towers over downtown Missoula. It was built in 1921. During its’ original construction, the basement was made into a swimming pool called the “Crystal Plunge”. The pool closed ten years later, as it was destroying the interior of the building with condensation. It now serves as storage space. Today, the theatre is managed by Missoula based Simba Entertainment. They broadcast and host movies, lectures, local music, as well as many other various entertainment events. It attracts many visitors, every single day!

One noteworthy tourist attraction in Missoula is Mount Sentinel. Originally nicknamed, “Mount Woody” this mountain resides next to and is claimed by Missoula University. Its’ height reaches 1,958 feet while its’ elevation rests at 5,158 feet. On the western hillside, about 620 feet up, Mount Sentinel features a concrete letter “M” for Missoula University. In 1902, Missoula University first received the land on Mount Sentinel when the North Pacific Railroad Company donated over 40 acres to their campus. Congress later gave the rest of the land to the school and the University of Montana became the only university in the United States to own a mountain. In 1909, students began to construct the letter “M” as a class project. After many tried and failed attempts, in 1915 a final “M’ was built and still stands tall today. Each year, students hike up the mountain during homecoming to light the “M” with railroad lanterns. Many trails also run along the mountain such as, the Kim Williams Nature Trail, the Hellgate Canyon Trail, the Mo Z Trail, and many others. Mount Sentinel means a great deal to not only the student body of Missoula University, but to the residents of Missoula, too.

Missoula isn’t famous for anything in particular except that a few special residents can call this lucky city their home. Missoula houses the famous YouTubers, Hank Green of the Vlogbrothers and Michael Aranda of Arandavision. They are both an inspiration and the reason I chose Missoula as my city of the week. It is without a doubt on my list to visit when I’m older so I can fulfill my lifelong dream of meeting the Vlogbrothers and Michael & Charlie! I have learned so much about Missoula University, the Welma Theatre, and the location of Missoula. I can’t wait to visit this historic, nerdfighter central! J